Choices

Now is the time to teach my daughter about choices.  She has choices about she wears.  Do you want to get attention because of your body, or do you want someone to give you attention because of your mind, your personality, your spirit? It's your choice.  Do you want to be just another form of entertainment for whoever gets your attention or do you want to be respected? It's your choice. Think about the company you keep. Who are you investing your time and energy into? That's a really important choice.  Do you really want men to use your body with the same license as a parking space? That's a choice.  How you spend your time and who you spend it with are really important choices.  You are only young once.  Spend your time wisely, pursuing your dreams and your interests.  Don't get distracted with physical relationships.  You have your whole life for that.  Now is the time for careful choices. By making the right choices, you won't know the horror of an STD or the regret of a one night stand.  You never have to do the walk of shame home, carrying your shoes with your pantyhose in your purse.  By making smart choices, you will never be duped into a fake choice: pitting your self against your child.  Remember, that your body was designed to create children.  Make serious and well thought out choices about who you would make a child with.  Abortion is not a choice; that's misogyny at it's finest


Choose monogamy.  Choose to be priceless.  Choose to be pursued, valued, and cherished.  Choose love and commitment.  Choose to grow a relationship slowly, over time.  Choose communication.  Choose someone who shares a vision with you for these things.  Choose fearless sex. Choose marriage first.

Growing up (and hoping not too fast)

My little girl is almost eleven. Her body is changing and I know that in the next year or so, she will go through the biological rite of initiation into womanhood that every girl goes through. Talking to her about these changes is uncomfortable enough. Despite the fact that it hasn't even happened yet, I worry for her. Like any mom, I want what is best for her. And like most moms, I know the temptations that are our there. I know she's not immune, I know she's going to see, hear, and know more than she'll admit to me. I know she's going to make decisions about her body that will effect her for the rest of her life. And like any mom, I don't want her hurt, and I certainly don't want her scarred for life. I want her loved,  I want her valued and I want her respected. I know, after living for more than forty years that this is a tall order and there is a lot to teach her. I also know that if I want her crises free, scar free, and respected, I am going to have to teach her to live counter culture as a woman. I know that if she successfully lives counter culture, she will be both ridiculed and scorned. But I also know that if she can hang in there, and if she believes in her heart that she is truly priceless, than she will have everything that she truly deserves; love, commitment, safety, sanctuary, bliss. The first thing that I am going to teach her is how to chart her fertility. I didn't learn this valuable skill until my late thirties, but I know from experience that the most important thing I can do for her is to teach her how her body works. I don't want my daughter to think that her healthy body is a problem to be solved with contraceptives.  I want her to be the master of her own body. I want her to recognize the power that she has every month to make a life.  I want her to know what a treasure that is. I plan to tell her that her body is truly sacred and that she needs to save it until her marriage.  Even the largest, most priceless diamonds are worth less and less every time you cut and give a piece away. Don't reduce yourself to a party favor. You are worth more than a one night thrill. You are not an inflatable doll to be used and forgotten.   The very idea that any one would try to tell me that it's somehow a normal part of growing up, to let a boy treat her as an object is just appalling.  I can't imagine anyone thinking it's a good idea for their daughters to be used in this way, but I know moms that have put their daughters on birth control for this very reason.  What is so enlightening or empowering about helping your daughters to be voluntary sex slaves? Is this really the best that feminism has to offer my daughter?  Modern day women may tell their daughters that being a concubine is what they were fighting for, but I plan on telling my daughter the truth: she deserves to be priceless and sex slavery won't do.